Theatre in NYC: Long Shotz Arrivals and Departures

Photo by Gregg Le Blanc

Saturday was the closing performance of Long Shotz: Departures. My half-hour play, ROSARY, went up five times as a part of this event, and I'm not really sure how to go about describing my experience. Yeah, I know, I'm a writer so I'm supposed to be good at the whole words thing, but... well, sometimes words don't make the shapes you want them to.

I started working the Amios, the theatre group that put together Long Shotz on their monthly project: Shotz. On the first Monday of every month, they put on a show of six short plays. The plays are hilarious, moving, and, more often than not, really fucking good. I first joined these fine folks in December 2010. Rob Hille directed by play Jelly Pants, which starred Jennifer Le Blanc (who I knew prior staged readings), Alanna Wilson, and Dan Balkin. It was about a girl (alive), her sister (ghost), and her date (confused). Also Christmas. Rob and the cast really impressed me with... well, how much better the performance was than the actual script. Humbling, that.

Photo by Gregg Le Blanc

Fast forward to nowish. Since then, I've written a hell of a lot of short plays for Shotz (Shadow Freude vs. Captain Happy Socks; Lesbianism isn't Contagious, You're Just Gay; Bargaining with Dragons; Furry Cuffs; and The Moment that Something Slips Your Mind). I was thrilled to be invited to participate in their Long Shotz event (six half an hour plays, half of 'em about leaving NYC forever, and the other half about arriving in NYC) and knew that I wanted to gather the folks that made Jelly Pants so good. Rob Hille, director and miracle man, worked with me throughout, making the script stronger with his brilliant ideas. I was lucky enough to have Jennifer Le Blanc and Alanna Wilson, two of the best actresses in the city, giving life to my words again. And then, there's Zach Evenson. This fine gentleman took a character that could've been... well, could've been a cardboard cutout and made him into a human. And, as Zach himself once said, "kind of a goober."

Photo by Gregg Le Blanc

Rosary is about... well, putting childish things away. It's about realizing who you are, realizing how you've changed, wondering what Old You would think of Now You, and asking yourself the important question: "Am I a good person?" The play is very, very close to my heart, and probably the most personal thing I've done in theatre. Granted, it's about lesbians and priest, and I can't really say that I'm either of those, but it's still a big piece of me. Hell, it's a lot more than a piece. So I guess the whole point of this blog is to thank Rob, Jennifer, Alanna, and Zach for doing such a lovely job. I'm going to miss seeing this play go up - so I'm going to submit it like hell to everyone who will read it. Let's see if we can get this thing produced again.

Photo by Gregg Le Blanc

While it was thrilling to see such brilliant people deliver my words, it was also great to see the other five plays that made up LongShotz (both Arrivals and Departures). The other two Departures plays were The Counter Offer and Whatever Happened to Baby Ngozi? The Counter Offer was laugh out loud funny and the cast (Justin Yorio, Kelli Crup, and Jenna Panther) had the incredible chemistry it took to sustain the energy and humor. Whatever Happened boasts Michael Fulvio's best performance - and trust me, that's saying a lot - and introduced me to Rob Robinson, who kicked a lot of ass. Also, best use of a scarf in a play.

The Arrivals show, which I finally caught last night, was just as great. It kicks off with Imogene Byrd's One Step Beyond, which examines the tediousness of marriage and motherhood in a surprising and fresh way. Then we get to Little China, a play about lurches, jerks, cats, and lesbians (I sense a theme...) written by Justin Yorio, who shows that he isn't just one of the funniest actors in theatre... he's also a damn good writer. The night ends on a somber, weird, hilarious, and moving note with P. Seth Bauer's The Very True Chronicles of Aloysius the Traveller, in the Great Land of New York City. The writing is great, moving at an incredible pace from balls out ridiculous to quietly pensive with surprising grace. Christian Haines, the mastermind behind amios, plays a damn good insane traveller/Christ figure. The play perplexes in ways both humorous and philosophical, and... well, I wish I was able to see it more than just the once.

I'll try to not make this pretentious, but if you want to see amazing theatre, check out amios. I'm not just saying that because I've written for them. I keep going back to them because these folks are talented, consistent, and overall damn wonderful.

Now, off to write. And grade. And do the holiday thing. Oh joy.

My play opens tonight for a five night run!

Tonight, my play ROSARY opens as a part of the LONGSHOTZ: DEPARTURES event. The whole show, which consists of three half hour plays, goes up five times in December. Here's the information.

THURSDAY 12/1, SATURDAY 12/3, FRIDAY 12/9, THURSDAY 12/15 at 8PM SATURDAY 12/17 at 3PM - One character is leaving New York forever. - A reference to the Rosarium Philosophorum. - The line "You keep missing the target." Rosary Written by Pat Shand Directed by Rob Hille Featuring Zach Evenson, Jennifer LeBlanc & Alanna Wilson When an old friend makes a drastic decision, Kyla watches her past collide with her present and is left to pick up the pieces. The Counter Offer Written by David L Wilson Directed by Rachel Dart Featuring Justin Yorio, Kelli Crump & Jenna Panther Negotiation is the name of the game when a representative of the 1% tries to peel one leader away from the Occupy Wall Street protest. Whatever Happened to Baby Ngozi? Written by Kate MacCluggage Directed by Jessica Chayes Featuring Michael Fulvio & Rob Robinson A drama about a truly unique family.

If any of you can come, I will give you the best high five that you've even received.

Theatre in NYC- NYCycle: Secondary Sources

Last night, I caught the second to last production of NYCycle: Secondary Sources, a collection of three short plays performed by the amios theatre troupe. I’ve written plays that have been performed in their monthly shotz event, so expect this review to be totally biased. On a serious note, the only reason that I’m biased is because the people who write, direct, and appear in these plays are some of the most wonderfully talented people working in theatre today. Shit you not. Go see NYCycle tomorrow (for the final performance!) and see what I mean. You won’t be disappointed.

And hey, if you are, that just means you have terrible taste, so at least you’ll know your failings as a human being!

NYCycle: Secondary Sources is made up of three thirty minute plays that center around the ideas presented in this statement from amios art director Christian Haines: “The title ‘Secondary Sources’ refers to second hand information. The idea stems from WikiLeaks, wherein primary sources were published and then interpreted by secondary sources. This led to full scale revolution throughout the middle east. It strikes me that a lot of our own information and opinions are formed by other people’s analysis with very little appreciation for the critical thought of the individual.”

So let’s get to those plays!

(NOTE: All of the following photography is very, very © alanna wilson photography 2011.)

Un-f**king-believable

Written by John Behlmann

Directed by January LaVoy

Starring Kate MacCluggage (replacement for Jenna Panther), Lauren Berst, and Michael J. Fulvio

This isn’t a dig at the other two plays, both of which I loved, by John Behlmann’s “Un-f**king-believable” is the strongest play of the bunch, and a hell of a way to kick off a night of excellent theatre. At its core, it’s a mediation on what “I love you” means to different people, and how three words, when said in tandem, can matter so much to some and so little to others. Behlmann, by putting his characters in ridiculous yet believable situations, examines the failings of the three words, and the inability of words as a whole, really, to truly express what one feels.

We see the characters lie to each other in ways small and large, all building to the devastating revelation that each of those lies, no matter the size, is a violation of the trust that is necessary for an “I love you” to matter. “Un-f**king-beievable” is heartfelt and hilarious, with the most realistic conversational dialogue I’ve seen in theatre in… well, not sure how long.

I love this play.

…See what I did there? Yeah? Good? …Fine.

Jesus, it’s Easter

Written by Dan Loeser

Directed by John Pieza

Starring Jillian LaVinka, Rob Hille, and Justin Yorio

Couple walks through park in Easter. Couple realizes that they have arrived in the area famous for gay men meeting up for sex. Jesus jumps out of a pile of garbage.

…Yup.

The skinny of this play is that Jesus appears to this couple, telling them that he was given a sign by Heaven that he will find the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene in the park. Jesus spends the length of the play trying to convince the woman (Christine, which makes Jesus think that she must be his Mary: “That’s practically me-tine!”) that she is his wife and she must ascend to Heaven with him.

The play uses the Secondary Sources theme to show how the Bible has failed humanity and how the vagueness of the message from Heaven has misled Jesus. While this play was mostly comedy, actor Justin Yorio performed Jesus as a human. A hilarious, completely earnest, and sometimes even an asshole human. While most of the lines of dialogue had me cracking up, I was actually moved by this odd “Jesus in the park” play at times. I’m paraphrasing, but the moment that the play began to feel like more than just satire to me is when Jesus says something to the extent of this: “To you, it has been thousands of years since the anniversary of his death and resurrection, but to me it’s been three days since I was nailed to the cross… and, at the same time, it’s been three years. So time is irrelevant to me… but that every breath I take without Mary is killing me.”

Add a hilarious twist ending to the play, and you’ve got a winner.

American Exceptionalism

Written by Steven Cole Hughes

Directed by Kate MacCluggage

Starring Joshua Coomer, Christian Haines, and Melissa Ortiz

There are three cast members and maybe twenty characters. There are minimal wardrobe changes to show who is who (a headband, an eyepatch, etc.), and the play moves at a breakneck pace, moving from a news report, to a man in his living room, to church, to a speech, to… well, a whole bunch of other stuff. For the first minute or two, I admit that I was confused as hell, but the superb directing from MacCluggage quickly made clear what was going on. Even though there is hardly a thing to visually tell these characters apart, the brilliant staging and exceptional acting from the cast (particularly Joshua Coomer) makes this satirical explosion of a play work in a way that I hadn’t thought possible.

The play climaxes with a speech from Coomer, who plays a congressman that publicly renounces falsely representing himself as a stuffy, moderate politician without personality. But I’ll let that part of the play speak for itself. “American Exceptionalism” ruthlessly satirizes that which Americans think matters; while it’s a comedy, it is made into a horror story through the shocking kernels of truth that are presented alongside of satirical hyperbole.

Also, the play is about lighting farts on fire.

After the play, a comedian and musician named Zoe Farmingdale took the stage for the Zoe Show, a twenty minute set of stand-up and songs inspired by the night’s plays (there is obviously no video available from tonight, as it just happened, but here's a taping of a Zoe Show from a previous NYCycle). It was a hilarious coda, and the songs will be stuck in your head on the train ride home.

Jesus in the park, Jesus in the park…

Here’s some info on the show:

June 3rd - LAST SHOW!

The Monkey West Theatre

37 West 26th Street, 12th Floor (btwn 5th & 6th)

New York, New York

Go see it. You won’t regret it.

Unearned Eccentricity

It’s okay—expected, even—for famous people to become eccentric. However, unfortunately for me and the world, I am not a famous person. A few people on the Internet know me from my Buffy work as, and I quote, “Hey, it’s Pat’s fookin’ hand!” I’m known by a group of theatergoers in the city as “that guy who writes the plays with the funny names (Jelly Pants, Shadow Freude vs. Captain Happy Socks, Lesbianism Isn’t Contagious, etc.).” And that’s about it, which is fine and expected. I haven’t been published and my plays reach a small, focused audience. Anyone who knows who I am outside of the aforementioned people is more than likely a stalker, killer, and/or practitioner of voodoo.

Point is, I’m not a household name. Not even a roomhold name. Hardly an I’m-standing-right-here-don’t-you-recognize-mehold name. I have no right to be eccentric. Haven’t earned it.

But yet…

I had a meeting with Dennis Allen, a fellow writer, yesterday. We met in the English department of Molloy College to discuss collaborating on a play. We threw ideas back and forth a bit, but for a while we didn’t seem to be making much progress. I came with some plot points prepared, but when it came to adding something new on top of what Dennis was brilliantly adding… I was failing.

I feel restricted, as if some sort of vice had fastened itself to my brain. My creativity was stifled. This oppressive force was trapping all of my ideas inside and I knew that, once I figured out what was causing this, the dam would break, letting out a flow of productivity.

Suddenly, I looked down, compelled by an invisible force. I saw the very source of constriction. My shoes. Yes. My shoes. They were, for some reason I can hardly begin to fathom, cutting my thought process.

…I should like to take these off, I thought.

I briefly surveyed the room, realized I didn’t care who saw, and removed my shoes. I felt as if the chains binding my brain (and, slightly more literally, my feet) had been removed. Drunk on the feeling of freedom, I stripped off my socks as well.

Dennis cocked an eyebrow, his lips slightly parted in confusion.

“I’m weird,” I told him, knowing it was true. This satisfied him, and we moved on. Little did he know that, for a wild moment, I imagined writing the rest of the piece completely nude. However, I still hold the hope of one day working as a professor at Molloy College, and I suspect that following the impulses of my maniacal id would lead to me damaging the psyche of the sweet, sweet secretary beyond repair. It would also likely damage my relationship with both Massey (a professor who was nearby) and Dennis, the former who has been too kind to me, and the latter who could a) quit this project and b) kick my would-be-naked ass.

The thought left my brain like a frightened bird. Woody Wood Pecker, to be specific. It seems like a mischievous WWP kind of thought.

As Dennis and I shot ideas back and forth, I found that being barefoot was indeed helpful. Endlessly so. The dam had been broken.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I know how to open doors.

I wish that my writing wasn’t so conditional on my odd whims. I once wrote three of my best chapters in a beautiful woodsy area in New Hampshire, and I often picture myself back there, gazing out at the everlasting green, when I’m having a hard time writing. Besides actually finding the time to write and avoiding Facebook, I think I am going to let myself submit more often to these off-the-wall whims (excluding public nudity for legal and personal reasons; inside I am shy and modest creature). Most of the time, my odd impulses lead to great success. When I put on a play called H2-Zero, I was worried that the blithering idiot behind the marketing campaign (myself) had neglected to sufficiently spread the word about the play. “I know!” I cried. “I’ll put up ads with promises of food, live music, and parties… all blatant lies.” As I worked on these flyers, I had a last minute stoke of brilliance. I added: “COME AND MEET FAMED RAPPER LIL’ WAYNE” to the flyers.

Whim, followed. Results? A (slightly) bigger audience.

Shoes restricting my brain? Tosh! Take them off. Whim, followed. Results? More creativity, stranger atmosphere. Ideal, that.

Next time I write (optimistically tomorrow), I think I’ll do something… awfully strange. I just hope that one day I will actually deserve such eccentricity.

Jelly Pants - a play

How often does a writer get to indulge himself enough to write a play called Jelly Pants?

Said play went up as a part of the monthly Shotz! festival in New York City last Monday. I'm thrilled that I got to work with these guys, because let me tell you... they're funny as all hell. They've been doing Shotz! for a while now, and I was more than happy to jump in for their holiday-themed production, 'Twas the Shotz Before Christmas.

Dan from Buffyfest (you know, the guy whose review for #39 made you misty... just me?), Chris Halton (director of the upcoming Creep short), and the woman professionally known as my mom were all in attendance, in addition to a house full of people with incredibly loud and appreciative laughs that made my heart all a-flutter.

Dan Roth, Patrick Shand, Janice Shand, Chris Halton

READ JELLY PANTS HERE:

Open publication - Free publishing - More shotz

Rob Hille did a great job directing Jelly Pants. He brought the thing to life, along with the amazing, spot-on cast. Dan Balkin played Darren, and holy FSM he put so much concentrated awesome into the character. He only had a few lines, but he lit up the stage with his appropriately goofy, overjoyed smile every time he and Monica spoke.

Monica was played by an actress who I've written for before, Jennifer Le Blanc. She is much with the awesome. I wrote a full length play, The Misadventures of Olive Sukkin, for her and I still hope that's getting produced (people are attached, we're just waiting for funding) but for now it was refreshing to see her acting in one of my shows again. Her ghostly sister Marjorie was played by Alanna Wilson, who was incredible to say the least. I'm pretentious about my writing, but I believe she added dimensions to the play--both in the funny and weepy realms--that weren't there when I put the pen to the paper. Well, the index fingers to the keyboard, but that sounds less interesting.

Obligatory Prom Picture

Alanna Wilson, Patrick Shand, Jennifer Le Blanc, Chris Halton

Alanna Wilson, Patrick Shand, Jennifer LeBlanc

Dan Balkin was nowhere to be found :(

There was a bit of a miscommunication about the page limit, so a lot had to be cut from the original piece. What I've uploaded above is a sort of Frankenstein monster that I think is made up of the best limbs of each incarnation of Jelly Pants. A lot of jokes were cut from the original play to fit the time limit, and some of them are put back, but some of them are kept out because, in hearing it, it reads better as a ten minute than a fifteen minute play. Also, I tweaked a few things after seeing it because the actors brought out things in the play than I hadn't seen. When I was going through the edits, I thought it was pretty upsetting (cutting nearly a third of the thing out), but now, having seen the show, I'm just glad I got to watch such a talented group of people say my silly, silly words.

Next month, I've got another play in the Shotz! festival. I'm submitting it today and, this time, I'm sticking to five pages. The theme is schadenfreude, and I've got a super-villainous idea, thanks to the brainstorming of one Jeffry Massey.

If you'd like to see my play next month, information will be posted in the following weeks! The date of the show is January 3rd and tickets are $10!

The Misadventures of Olive Sukkin

Sometimes, things happen.

In early 2009, my play Soft Serve was accepted into the Shhh... Let's Talk About Sex festival of plays. When I came to attend the festival, I met producer Kimberlyn Crawford.

In mid 2009, I attended my friend Dennis A. Allen's play, Real Estate. Kimberlyn also attended. We spoke, and she said she was working on a festival for women playwrights.

As a very politically correct man, I thought "that's wonderful." In a darker, more prominent fold of my brain, I thought, "Nah, fuck that, I'm writing a play and sending it to her."

Sometimes, following dark impulses can get you to decent places.

Kimberlyn and I had a bunch of meetings, the play I sent was reworked, and... Well, in short, so far, we've had two staged readings of The Misadventures of Olive Sukkin and a full production is in the works.

Now, I'm just waiting to hear more details. Wish the production luck.

Here's the site.

http://olivesukkin.com/olivesukkin.comb.html