SLIPSTREAM coming December 2012!

NOT AT SDCC ANNOUNCEMENT #1

So, I'm not at SDCC. To keep myself from being too depressed about it, I'm going to be announcing a few projects that I have, until now, kept hush-hush about. The first announcement is...

SLIPSTREAM: ORIGIN

You heard it here first - this is my first superhero comic, my first work with Big Dog Ink, and my first time playing in the Critter universe! For those unfamiliar with Critter, check out this brand new superhero universe from Big Dog Ink right here. Created by Tom Hutchison, the ongoing Critter series is the flagship title of Big Dog Ink, and it is putting the fun and adventure back into superhero comics.

Slipstream: Origin, written by me with art by the wonderful Owen Gieni, is the latest in a series of one-shot Critter spinoffs. It'll hit shelves in December 2012 (for those keeping up with the things that've been announced so far, that's the same month as Robyn Hood #4, Unannounced Project #3, and probably Super Unannounced Project #??). A cover will be coming soon but, until then, here is a Critter cover by Slipstream: Origin artist Owen Gieni.

Slipstream captures the same sense of fun that Critter embodies, but with a sci-fi twist. I won't spoil anything, but when I started plotting the comic, I was inspired by how much freedom Tom was letting me have with Slipstream, so I decided to make the comic about Slipstream building herself up from nothing and becoming the hero that we see in the monthly Critter title. It's completely standalone, but I hope it'll make folks eager to read more of Slipstream's adventures, because that character has been in my head for a while now.

--

Now, because I'm a fan of hearing about the writing process, I'll give a bit of background on how this comic came to be. It's funny that I'm announcing this in my Not at SDCC blog, because this tale proves how important it is for freelancers to go to cons. I met Tom Hutchison at NYCC 2011. I had only had one comic published at that point (Angel: Yearbook at IDW), but my work on Zenescope's Grimm Fairy Tales Holiday Edition 2011had already been solicited. Wanting to showcase my first work in the industry, I made a business card that had my contact info and little images featuring cover art from my soon-to-be-published comics. I found the Big Dog Ink booth, and was fascinated by their titles. I gave Tom my business card, and he recognized the Grimm Fairy Tales comic on it - funny sidebar, Zenescope editor and all around great dude Raven Gregory was checking out the booth too, and heard us talking about GFT. So I met Tom and Raven at the same time! Anyway, I asked Tom if I could pitch stories to him, read up on Critter, and wrote some ideas for one-shot stories. Tom dug Slipstream, and the rest is history. Moral of the story? Cons are important. If you can go, go. I hope to see you at NYCC 2012, and surely SDCC 2013.

More tomorrow!

-

PATRICK SHAND writes ROBYN HOOD, GRIMM FAIRY TALES, 1000 WAYS TO DIE, and more for Zenescope. He has written ANGEL for IDW, SLIPSTREAM for Big Dog Ink, and short stories published in various anthologies by Pill Hill Press, Rainstorm Press, and Wicked East Press. His plays have been produced in Manhattan and he currently teaches screenwriting and scriptwriting at Five Towns College.

"Just" Work for Hire

I went back and forth about whether or not I'd actually write this post, but I think it's pretty important. I've been lucky enough in my career in comics to meet a bunch of awesome and talented people, and I'm grateful for that. I read a comic today that made me pretty mad, though, and it made me decide to write a post about an experience I had with the writer of said book at this past New York Comic Con.

This writer is a really well-known creator of a bunch of wonderful indie books. Books I love. When NYCC rolled around, though, his latest release was the first issue of a series he'd written for a company owned property. I still respect and love the guy's work, so I won't give anymore than that. Anyway, I walked up to his booth, did the whole "nice to meet you" thing, and told him how much I loved his first issue of _________.

He looked at me as if I'd just said "Would you like a bite of this shit sandwich, good sir? I made it myself. Just now."

Nervous that I'd somehow walked up to the wrong table, I laughed and said, "You... you did write that book, right?"

He nodded and said, "Yeah, but it was just work for hire. Did it a while ago. I guess they're putting it out now."

Flabbergasted and a bit put off, I nodded, talked with him for a minute or two more, bought one of his other books, and left. Hoping he was just having an off day, I went online and searched to see if he had posted anything about having written this book. Annnd he did. He did an interview that talked about that book and another property he was writing (one that I love). In this interview, his response was dismissive of the interviewer's question and he even reiterated that both of these projects were work for hire, so that the devout fans shouldn't expect much.

...What.

I was let down that a creator I respect would say this about any work of his, much less work that I enjoyed. And as his just-work-for-hire series went on, I noticed the drop in quality every issue. As it went on, the levels of shits not given increased exponentially, climaxing in the final issue, which I got around to reading today.

And here's my thoughts. Some pretty cool blog recently described me as an "up-and-coming comics writer" so I'll go with that. My first gig was my dream gig... Angel. Working in a world that Joss Whedon, my writerly hero, created was more than I could have hoped for - but I only had two pages with which to tell my story. I made those two pages the best damn two pages I was capable of. And after that, did I fulfill my second dream of doing a Supergirl/Stephanie Brown/Stargirl team book? Naw, I got some work for hire. I've been writing comics for Zenescope ever since and, yeah, it's work for hire, but there is no "just" in the equation. I was offered a shot at writing a good portion of their 1000 Ways to Die graphic novel. I'd never seen the show, but you can bet I watched every episode I could before I went to script.

Point is this... if you, as a writer or artist or actor or whatever, can't find it in yourself to care about what you're writing, then don't write it. Just don't write it. I am the last person to say "never write for money" because, let's face it, that's an inherently flawed piece of advice to give to writers. If you're a Career Writer, what you're doing is attempting to make a living out of writing - you write for money. The dangerous thing is when you start looking at work for hire as a "just" instead of a privilege and a challenge to live up to. Thing is, there are hundreds of other hungry, talented writers out there who would love to get their hands on the book you are currently not giving a shit about.

And so help you if you give a fan a weird look for saying they like your work, even if it's something you just pulled out of your ass for a check. The day I do that is the day I stop writing.

BLOOD PONG: six page preview of my new creator owned comic

Hey all. So, one more post to celebrate Creator Owned Day! Here's a six page preview of my creator owned comic, BLOOD PONG. Frustrated with the modern depiction of vampires as romantic creatures, CHAD and JOHN, two vampires who spend their days playing beer pong with blood, hit the town with a video camera. They’ve decided to make their own reality/horror movie that gives vampires back their badassery.

Open publication - Free publishing - More blood pong

The art is by the wonderful Ian McGinty (co-creator). We've been pitching it around, so it would be great to get any thoughts or reactions.,

Doctor Who/Sherlock parody in my upcoming graphic novel THE COMIC CON TALES

Here’s a preview page from my upcoming graphic novel THE COMIC CON TALES. Inspired by Chaucer’s classic “The Canterbury Tales,” this graphic novel tells the story of a group of friends who take a road trip from New York to San Diego Comic Con. Along the way, they each share a tale. This is the first page of “The Fangirl’s Tale: Professor Whom and Detective Sherrock,” illustrated by Oly Pelaez.

Of course we can’t say the names, but we’re pretty clearly parodying Doctor Who and Sherlock fanfic. The story gets pretty… well, you see, it’s from the mind of a character who writes some pretty intense fan fic, so I think anyone who has been really involved with fandom will get a kick out of it.

Comment if you want to see this happen! THE COMIC CON TALES is made up of many, many stories, comedic and serious. Every story is illustrated by a different artist, and the script is the strangest most diverse thing I’ve ever written, and I’m pretty proud of it.

Hope you dig it. Tell your friends!

A Comic Book Writer Talks SOPA/PIPA

Originally posted 1/18/12 on my Tumblr.

This morning, Facebook pissed me off. A bunch of my friends were equatingcaring about SOPA to not caring a real problems such as AIDS, starvation, cancer, etc. I posted some snarky statuses to get across the point that being vocal about the dangers of Internet censorship doesn’t equate to being a heartless monster, but I was silly about it. EricaCV pointed out, though, that I may be better off using my “writerly influence to spread further knowledge and understanding about the situation.” She’s right - on Facebook I went for the lulz, and that was a bit of a mistake… because I think one of the fundamental misunderstandings about SOPA/PIPA and those of us who are against it is that we are merely scared of losing the Internet as a source of mindless entertainment.

It’s a hell of a lot worse than that.

Now, here’s where I stand. Piracy isn’t a shiny beacon of awesome, and I’m not for it. Obviously. I work as a writer in the comics industry, and it’s one of the most grating things to see how often our (incredibly cheap) books get pirated. Hell, take this for example. A few weeks ago, my latest comic (Grimm Fairy Tales: Holiday Edition 2011) came out, and I searched it in Google. (Yes, I self-Googled, I’m weak.) The first result wasn’t a fan’s reaction. It wasn’t a review. It was a site that offered an illegal download of the book that had literally only been out for a few hours. Bummer, right?

But.

I started thinking. I used to run a review site. On that site, I would talk about all things Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. I would review the comics, I would post pictures of stuff that was coming out, and I would make stupid little parody images on Paint. I used Google images to pepper the site with covers from the comics to make the site prettier. That site is how I got noticed. By making friends with some of the people who worked on the Angel comic and showing that I cared about the character and that I could write, I put my foot in the door. I later wrote a story for that comic, and have since been building a career in the comics industry. The seeds for all of my current success grew from that blog… which would have been shut the fuck down in an Internet governed by SOPA/PIPA.

So would this Tumblr. Likely, so would your Tumblr. So would countless other sites that have provided entertainment, offered education, and decreased World Suck. Yes, it’s true that the pirates would get shut down, but I say this as a man trying to make it in an incredibly rough industry… it is absolutely not worth it.

For more information (and I can surely say more articulation) you can check out what Neil Gaiman, Patrick Rothfuss, Steve Niles, and many other great writers are saying all over the Internet. Look around, and see if you agree with them. It’s your prerogative. Your freedom. My point is this: without a free Internet, I wouldn’t have published a thing. And I’d wager that I would be a hell of a lot less informed about the world as a whole than I am now.

The world is at your fingertips. Don’t let them snatch it away from you.

-Patrick Shand

My 2011 - A Retrospect

So, less than seven hours, 2011 will be over. It was... well, it was a strange one. It was the best year of my life in some ways, the worst in others. As I'm writing this, I'm trying to place how I feel about this year as my fiancee's cats run around the apartment, smashing into blinds, chewing on shoes, bouncing off the bed... and no, they're not even on catnip. They're just wonderfully strange.

I'm leaving this year with a lot more than I had last year. I have twelve publications to my name now, when last year I had... well, none. I have what appears to be a beard growing on my face, which makes me feel more like a writer than any of those publications. I have a fiancee. I have a bit more confidence that I'm going to be able to "make it" as a writer (lame as the phrase "make it" is), and a good deal more frustration that I haven't already.

WORK

At this time last year, I was working at Borders and preparing to teach a class at Five Towns College. I stayed at Borders until the bittersweet end in September, when the store closed its doors for good. I'll never really be able to articulate how much I miss Borders... not only my friends there, but the store as a whole. It has been my favorite store since I was eight or nine, and it's left a hole in the book industry that won't easily be filled. But yeah... I do miss all my wonderful co-workers.

And that sexy, sexy discount.

While I was day-jobbing it at Borders, I also worked as an adjunct professor at Five Towns. That's still going on. I teach Screenwriting and Script Writing classes in the spring semester and two Script Writing units in the Fall. Though the list of prose novels that I read this year is literally 1/5th of what I'd conquered last year, I think I read more this year than ever before... because the thing about being a writing professor is that you've got a hell of a lot of screenplays to read through multiple drafts. It was enlightening, rewarding, frustrating, and beautiful to see students grow as writers in my class, and it showed me that maybe I do have a future in teaching. I always thought of my career as "write or nothing." But now, I think I may have to amend that to "writing and..." I'm proud of the classes that I taught, and I'm excited to see what I can improve for next semester.

A student of mine drew this fine example of a storyboard

featuring yours truly

When Borders closed, though, I knew I needed another day job. I applied at all sorts of places until I was finally hired at Barnes and Noble. The pay was the lowest I've ever taken, and it was seasonal, but it was something. It turned out being the worst job I've ever had, but that came to an end today. They called me into the office on Wednesday and informed me that, as of January 1st, none of the seasonal employees (myself and two other really cool people) would be brought back. "You," they told me, "will be the first we call if we need someone to cover a shift!" Then, they expected me to work as scheduled New Years Eve, even though they failed to give me more than three days notice that I'd no longer be employed there. It's this marginalization of employees, seasonal or otherwise, that makes me look back and appreciate my other jobs, no matter how little they paid or how long they lasted. Even McDonalds is shiny in comparison.

But as of today, that's the past. It's behind me, and I already have a job interview lined up. I hope that the days I'll need to have day jobs are numbered, but until I can support myself with no assistance on writing and teaching, I'm going to keep workin' em.

A side note, just because I think everyone needs to know. Westley, a very large cat, is currently swatting at the chair, poking my butt in order to get attention. He's very important, after all.

Clearly

COMICS

Angel: Yearbook. Cover by David Messina.

In May, my dream came true. I wrote for Joss Whedon's Angel. My story, "My Only Friend," (illustrated by Stephen Mooney) was included in IDW's final installment of their five year long run on the title, Angel: Yearbook. I owe thanks to Chris Ryall, Scott Tipton, Stephen Mooney (of course), Dan Roth, and Mariah Huehner for making that dream come to beautiful fruition.

It was also great to see the story reprinted in the massive Angel: The End hardcover (pictured above), with a beautiful cover by Jenny Frison.

Grimm Fairy Tales Holiday Edition 2011. Cover by Stjepan Sejic.

Determined to use my story as a stepping stone to a career in comics, I contacted Zenescope Entertainment and have since worked with editor Ralph Tedesco on a number of projects. My first release with Zenescope hit shelves a week and a half ago. I wrote the 2011 Holiday Edition of their flagship title, Grimm Fairy Tales from a plot by Ralph Tedesco, based on Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I'm incredibly proud of how it came out.

Double page spread from GFT: Holiday 2011. Art by Anthony Spay.

I got to work with a handful of wonderful artists, who brought out the sweetness and the horror in this story in big ways.

I also wrote five stories for their 1000 Ways to Die graphic novel, which should come out a few weeks into 2012.

I spent a lot of 2011 pitching, making connections, and assembling teams for creator owned projects. I'm working on more than ten pitches for graphic novels and comic books right now, and I hope to see a few of them released next year. I'm confident in the work I've been creating, more so than ever - and I'm thrilled to be working with such brilliant, brilliant artists.

Page from Blood Pong #1. Art by Ian McGinty.

Promo art for PLAYGROUND, an original graphic novel

with art by Matt Roscetti.

SHORT STORIES

2011 was the year of the short story for me. Between May and August, I wrote about two stories every week. I am currently recycling a bunch of these ideas into comic book projects, so more people will be able to see them, but I loved working with small presses such as Pill Hill Press, Rainstorm Press, and May December Publications on these strange pieces of prose. I really let loose and played with bigger ideas that I've always wanted to tackle in some way, and I think a lot of them came out really nicely. There are a few glaring typos, some from editors and some from me, in the earliest of the volumes, but that simply makes me want to be more attentive to the mechanics of proofreading.

I already have another short story set for publication next year, but I'll talk about that a bit closer to the release date.

PLAYS

A good chunk of my year was spent with the lovely folks of the Amios Company. I wrote six short plays for Shotz, their monthly festival of short plays, and a thirty minute play called Rosary which was performed five times in December for their LongShotz event.

From Rosary (Jennifer Le Blance, Alanna Wilson). Photography by Gregg Le Blanc.

There is really nothing like seeing your work performed live by people more talented than you can begin to imagine. I love all of these actors and directors, and look forward to another very Shotzy year.

Game Face, a play I co-created with Tanya Everett and Clinton Lowe, received a staged reading on my birthday. It had a few bumps, but it showed me that all of those bumps are worth working with people as creative and talented and badass as Tanya and Clinton. To the future.

OTHER

I wrote - get this - literary critique. I know, right? Weird. Five of my academic articles are going to be published in Joss Whedon: The Complete Companion: the TV Series, the Movies, the Comic Books, and More: The Essential Guide to the Whedonverse. I've never been in a book with so many colons, but I'm excited to branch out into (completely) uncharted territory in my writing. I hope to do more of this kind of work in 2012, because... well, it was a lot more fun writing scholarly articles than I could have imagined. Maybe I'm itchin' to be an English student again, who knows?

Also, I wrote the index for Brian Cogan's upcoming book, Deconstructing South Park. More info on that when it comes out. It has the sweetest index you've ever not read, I promise.

FILM

Sadly, my film company Stinky Burger Productions called it quits this year. Steve Wisnowski (President) and I are still planning on releasing our feature film, Besiegement! next year (now that we're able to edit it again), but SBP will no longer produce short films. Perhaps, in the future, there will be something else down the line. But for now... it was a good ride.

I wrote a short film called The Sucker for director Katie Carman (Eat Me, Off Season). I like describing it as "American Beauty with the chupacabra." Hopefully, in a few months, you'll see what I'm talking about.

LIFE

Had some good times with friends. Took my girlfriend to Mohonk, the most beautiful place in the world. Got engaged. Fell deeper in love. Spent a lot of time with my favorite person. Witnessed a miracle. Read some really, really good comics (here's looking at you, The Saga of the Swamp Thing, Nick Spencer, and Scott Snyder). Discovered a really, really good author (hi, Patrick Rothfuss). Opening up my own checking account. Opened up a joint savings account. Again, grew a beard.

Erica took this picture of me

before answering the question.

Thanks to everyone who enjoyed this year with me. Thanks to Erica. Thanks to my mom, dad, and the rest of my family. Thanks to Chris, Antwon, Charlotte, Rachel, Brian, Steve, Jenna, Kristina, and everyone else I saw on Christmas eve. Thanks to Tanya and Clinton. Thanks to Kibibi, a wonderfully talented woman who was unfortunately taken from us just a few days ago. Thanks to Scott, Brian, Mooney, Ryall, Jay, Ralph Tedesco, Suzanne Robb, Brian Cogan, Pill Hill Press, Rainstorm Press, May December Publications, the BiblioBabes, and everyone else who helped elevate my career. Thanks to Ian McGinty, Matt Roscetti, Jon Roscetti, Mike Hamlett, and everyone else I'm developing creator owned properties with. Thanks to Massey. Thanks to all of my students who put in the effort to learn, as well as those that pushed me to be better. Thanks to Rob Hille, Alanna Wilson, Jennifer Le Blanc, Zach Evenson, Kristy Powers, Mike Fulvio, Christian Haines, and everyone else who brought Shotz and LongShotz to life. Thanks to the cutest cats in the world, Cleese, Deanna, Westley, and Dagny. Thanks to Shannon, Ian, Sean, and... yeah, getting lazy, thanks to everyone who worked at Borders. Thanks to Scott Snyder, Nick Spencer, and Alan Moore - the work of these three writers pushed me to push myself this year. Thanks to everyone who made me think, made me love, and made me work. If I forgot your name, it's because I'm tired and anxious to spend New Years Eve the best way possible... doing absolutely nothing.

NEXT YEAR

I want to write more than I wrote this year. I want to publish more than I published this year. I want to spend time with more people that I love, I want to keep falling more and more in love with Erica, I want to exercise, I want to lose weight, and I want to try new things. I want to get a book deal. I want to create. And, as lame as resolutions can be, I'm going to start working on these tomorrow morning.

Happy New Year.

My GRIMM comic in stores 12/21!

Grimm Fairy Tales Holiday 2011 - Cover B by Stjepan Sejic

I'm a bit of a sap. I've always loved holiday specials. I think it may have started with the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Angel, taunted by the ghosts of those he has murdered, attempts to end his life. It was a powerful episode, that simultaneously embraced the tropes of the "holiday special" while also flying in the face of stereotypical holiday cheer. Roswell also did Christmas episodes really well.

I guess it was only a matter of time before I tried my hands at a holiday special.

Cover A by Mike Debalfo

In a bit less than two weeks, my issue of Grimm Fairy Tales hits the shelves of comic books everywhere. For those who are unfamiliar with the series, Grimm Fairy Tales is the long-running flagship title of Zenescope Entertainment. The series and its many spin-offs are populated with rich characters that play roles in an intricate mythology that incorporates the realms of Myst (essentially Fairie Land), Oz, Wonderland, Neverland, and Earth.

I wrote this year's giant sized holiday special, which features some of the Grimm characters in very interesting roles. It's a horror comic, and we really go for the scares... but it's also one of the most romantic things I've written.

Page 14. Art by Reno Maniquis.

Here's the solicit: Zenescope presents a very special Grimm Fairy Tales version of a Christmas Carol. Sela puts her own spin on the classic holiday tale while trying to teach a future princess of Myst a valuable lesson.

You can pre-order the comic here, or simply visit your local comic shop on Wednesday, 12/21. It's been incredibly exciting working on this book, and I think the story came out cool. Let me know if you agree!

GRIMM Solicitation

The updated solicitation for my issue of GRIMM FAIRY TALES just came out.

Check it out here:

http://www.comicscontinuum.com/stories/1109/30/zenescopedec.htm

GRIMM FAIRY TALES PRESENTS 2011 HOLIDAY SPECIAL

Written by Ralph Tedesco, Patrick Shand, art by TBD, covers by Mike DeBalfo, Stjepan Sejic.

Zenescope brings readers an incredible re-telling of the infamous Holiday story: A Christmas Carol! When a spoiled and selfish Hollywood actress crosses the line of bad behavior on Christmas Eve, Sela intervenes to teach her a lesson she soon won't forget!

48 pages, $5.99.

Writing Grimm Fairy Tales for Zenescope

Hey all. Big news!

A while back, I teased that I got a big comics job. The covers came out yesterday, so it seems that I can talk about it. I'm writing the 2011 Holiday Special of Zenescope Entertainment's GRIMM FAIRY TALES comic. The series has been running for 60+ issues, and is one of the longest running comics not being published by Marvel or DC. I'm thrilled to have written for these wonderful characters.

The solicitation information hasn't been updated (the credits and the plot description are wrong), but just look at those covers below. I am so, so excited for this. It should be out in mid December this year. You can order from the site below site or pre-order at your local comic shop.

Two different versions of the comic will be released. One with this painted cover:

Which you can pre-order here.

And here's the other cover, which is a bit more playful.

Which you can pre-order here.

For those interested, GRIMM FAIRY TALES is a horror comic that began as a series of modern retellings of the classic fairy tales. However, the series ended up developing its own mythology, building its own world, and creating an long, epic story arc.

My story, told in this 42 page comic, tells a very modern version of "A Christmas Carol." It's super fun to riff off of Dickens' work, as I was an English major in college, but the best part was writing for the characters in this series. Sela, the lead character, is outright kick-ass.

Be sure to pre-order from TFAW. They have it discounted.

I love the universe and am eager to work on more of their books, so let's make this book a big hit!

I hope you guys dig this!

Future Projects - Blood Pong

Well, something has to combat the romantic vampire crazy, right?

Man, look at that art. That's a camera phone picture of an inked Page Two that hasn't been scanned yet. Page Two of what, you ask? It's a comic book I'm working on with the wonderful Ian McGinty. It's about vampires who play beer pong with blood. It's about two monsters who decide to single-handedly debunk the "vampires are so very sweet" myth. It's about AIDS and horror cliches and old school exploitation. It's about making fun of all of that shit while wholly embracing it. It's Blood Pong.

I wrote and directed two short films based on the general idea of the series a couple of years ago, but I'm admittedly a way better writer than I am a director. A HD handheld does not a DP make. I love all of those films and the folks I worked on them with, but I think that Blood Pong can really thrive in four issues of twenty-two black and white pages. Once the first ten pages are done, Ian and I are going to pitch this around... I'm thinking New York Comic-Con, if not before then. I can't wait to show you guys more.

Writing Advice - Give A Shit

I've wanted to do this for a while, and reading Stephen King's excellent On Writing memoir/book-of-transformative-writing-advice has pushed me to finally give it a go. I posted two vlogs on this topic a while ago, but I think--as per the title of this blog--I might be better at actually writing said advice than going all John/Hank Green on YouTube. I'm going to steer clear of all the cliches good and bad that seem to encompass most writing books and just tell you what I think will improve your writing. Hell, this is the stuff that I personally struggle with the most, so maybe it'll help the both of us.

Let's go.

Writerly Advice #1

Give a Shit

This seems so simple that you're probably wondering if this post is even worth reading. Let me tell you, though... this little piece of obvious advice might be what I struggle with most as a writer. As I write this, I'm reaching the end of a first draft of a story that I, until a few moments ago, was planning on submitting to a small press anthology for publication. This is, as I'm nearing the end, I'm realizing that the story isn't really about anything. It's true that theme (which is really just meaning) can be added in the second draft, but sometimes it is that meaning, the message of the story, that makes you as a writer care enough to want to finish the story.

Your story doesn't have to be a comment on the state of politics or an examination of human nature. It doesn't have to make an overarching statement that will make academic types stroke their pretentious beards and go "Ah, yes, I see." The only important thing when you're writing is that you care. Unfortunately, sometimes, you'll end up writing something that you don't give a shit about. There are many ways to fix that, and most of them include examining what you have, cutting out the bullshit, and injecting some of yourself into the story. Hell, my story right now is a comedic piece about a group of supernatural who, while trying to be heroes, realize that sometimes they do have to play the part of the monster. I think the central concept is a pretty good idea, and the first few pages poured out of my fingers in a wave of inspiration. But as I'm coming to the end, I realized that while I was in love with the set-up, I didn't take the time to develop the characters enough to care what happens to them or, most importantly, for their realization at the end of the story to matter to me. And hey, if the story doesn't matter to the person who is writing it, you know the reader isn't going to give a shit.

So when you're wondering why you're having such a hard time with your story, ask yourself if you give a shit about where the characters are headed and what has happened with the story. And be honest. If the answer is "no," that's okay. You'll live, and your story might too. In the case of lack of shit giveage, just look at what you've got. Who are your characters? Do you care about them? If so, awesome... give them something to do that will make them make choices that will either shock you or reaffirm your love for them. If not... ask yourself why, and see if you can add something to them that will make you care. Don't get me wrong--you don't have to like them. You just have to care. You have to be interested, because only then can you be interesting.

Why are you writing this story?

I have to go work on this story because right now, I couldn't give the tiniest shit. Let's see if I can fix that.

Writing Comics Instead of Writing About Comics

Due to a comics writing gig that I just got the go ahead for, today has been writing writing writing... so no Comic Book Wednesday today.

Tomorrow, however, I will chime in with a review of Superman #712. Thanks.

Mohonk Mountain House

I'm trying to write every day. That's what good writers do, right? I have a bunch of deadlines coming up, all of which I'm sure I'll make with time to spare. Getting shit done when it needs to be done has never been an issue for me. It's the day-to-day, honing my craft stuff that I need to stay on my feet to keep up with.

Right now, I'm on vacation with a beautiful girl who I am very in love with. She just laughed at a book that she's reading. I hear the birds through the door to our room, and I almost want to take her hand and go outside again. I say almost because we climbed a mountain, walked forever, and rowed a canoe today. Well, she did the rowing while I sat in what the man on the dock referred to as "the princess seat." She's badass, what can I say? My body is tired, but my mind and heart are filled to the brim with the loveliness of this place and the company with which I'm spending my time here.

From the last time we visited Mohonk together... Nov. 2010

I have a lot going on outside of this gorgeous get-away, but I think I'm going to let that all rest tonight. I'm here with my favorite person in the world. Everything else can wait.

Unearned Eccentricity

It’s okay—expected, even—for famous people to become eccentric. However, unfortunately for me and the world, I am not a famous person. A few people on the Internet know me from my Buffy work as, and I quote, “Hey, it’s Pat’s fookin’ hand!” I’m known by a group of theatergoers in the city as “that guy who writes the plays with the funny names (Jelly Pants, Shadow Freude vs. Captain Happy Socks, Lesbianism Isn’t Contagious, etc.).” And that’s about it, which is fine and expected. I haven’t been published and my plays reach a small, focused audience. Anyone who knows who I am outside of the aforementioned people is more than likely a stalker, killer, and/or practitioner of voodoo.

Point is, I’m not a household name. Not even a roomhold name. Hardly an I’m-standing-right-here-don’t-you-recognize-mehold name. I have no right to be eccentric. Haven’t earned it.

But yet…

I had a meeting with Dennis Allen, a fellow writer, yesterday. We met in the English department of Molloy College to discuss collaborating on a play. We threw ideas back and forth a bit, but for a while we didn’t seem to be making much progress. I came with some plot points prepared, but when it came to adding something new on top of what Dennis was brilliantly adding… I was failing.

I feel restricted, as if some sort of vice had fastened itself to my brain. My creativity was stifled. This oppressive force was trapping all of my ideas inside and I knew that, once I figured out what was causing this, the dam would break, letting out a flow of productivity.

Suddenly, I looked down, compelled by an invisible force. I saw the very source of constriction. My shoes. Yes. My shoes. They were, for some reason I can hardly begin to fathom, cutting my thought process.

…I should like to take these off, I thought.

I briefly surveyed the room, realized I didn’t care who saw, and removed my shoes. I felt as if the chains binding my brain (and, slightly more literally, my feet) had been removed. Drunk on the feeling of freedom, I stripped off my socks as well.

Dennis cocked an eyebrow, his lips slightly parted in confusion.

“I’m weird,” I told him, knowing it was true. This satisfied him, and we moved on. Little did he know that, for a wild moment, I imagined writing the rest of the piece completely nude. However, I still hold the hope of one day working as a professor at Molloy College, and I suspect that following the impulses of my maniacal id would lead to me damaging the psyche of the sweet, sweet secretary beyond repair. It would also likely damage my relationship with both Massey (a professor who was nearby) and Dennis, the former who has been too kind to me, and the latter who could a) quit this project and b) kick my would-be-naked ass.

The thought left my brain like a frightened bird. Woody Wood Pecker, to be specific. It seems like a mischievous WWP kind of thought.

As Dennis and I shot ideas back and forth, I found that being barefoot was indeed helpful. Endlessly so. The dam had been broken.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I know how to open doors.

I wish that my writing wasn’t so conditional on my odd whims. I once wrote three of my best chapters in a beautiful woodsy area in New Hampshire, and I often picture myself back there, gazing out at the everlasting green, when I’m having a hard time writing. Besides actually finding the time to write and avoiding Facebook, I think I am going to let myself submit more often to these off-the-wall whims (excluding public nudity for legal and personal reasons; inside I am shy and modest creature). Most of the time, my odd impulses lead to great success. When I put on a play called H2-Zero, I was worried that the blithering idiot behind the marketing campaign (myself) had neglected to sufficiently spread the word about the play. “I know!” I cried. “I’ll put up ads with promises of food, live music, and parties… all blatant lies.” As I worked on these flyers, I had a last minute stoke of brilliance. I added: “COME AND MEET FAMED RAPPER LIL’ WAYNE” to the flyers.

Whim, followed. Results? A (slightly) bigger audience.

Shoes restricting my brain? Tosh! Take them off. Whim, followed. Results? More creativity, stranger atmosphere. Ideal, that.

Next time I write (optimistically tomorrow), I think I’ll do something… awfully strange. I just hope that one day I will actually deserve such eccentricity.

So Far

The statement "I write for a living" is actually saying a lot more than the obvious. For example, it also means either A) I am successful and well known and support myself, my family, and my beautiful golden retreiver with my creative work, B) I have a day job, C) I am so depressed because nobody understands my genius WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH oooh is that alcohol I see over there?

I am obviously option A.

What "I write for a living" is also saying is that I think I have something to say. Which is slightly pretentious, no? Take any man off of the street. In fact, take this man. His name is Dave, and he is a door to door salesman. Dave likes kitty cats, his wife, HBO, and long walks on the beach. What makes me so big headed to think that what I have to say is more important than something that Dave, this random fellow, has to say?

Well, first of all, I actually do have a big head. Hats just don't fit me. So there's my excuse right there.

Second, Dave rings doorbells and annoys people, trying to sell his shit. Don't you just hate that? Fuck Dave.

Also, despite the merits of kitty cats, wives (well, some wives), and HBO, Dave still sucks. Because Dave is cliche. Thing is, he doesn't really like long walks on the beach. Sand hurts his feet. In fact, he outright hates the beach. He just said that he likes walks on the beach because it's something to say.

And me? A writer? I'd never just say something to say something. Everything I write is planned. Nothing is random. Chopsticks, badger, Boy George.

I'll be using this blog to post short stories, give updates on my writing career, and also babble. I like to babble.

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As a sort of starting point, here's what I've done so far.

THEATRE

Staged reading of The Ruler of the Chocolatey Universe (ten minute play) at Molloy for the New Faces Festival. Feb 2009.

Staged reading of Inpregnito (one act play) at Molloy for the New Faces Festival. Feb 2009.

Staged reading of Soft Serve (one act play) at the Spoon Theatre (NYC) for producer Kimberlyn Crawford's Shhhh... Let's Talk About Sex festival. April 2009.

Staged reading of The Misadventures of Olive Sukkin (full length) at the Arclight Theatre (NYC). Producer Kimberlyn Crawford. Sept 2009.

The Ruler of the Chocolatey Universe (ten minute play). Published in the Molloy Literary Magazine. Fall 2009. Featured author.

Staged reading of The Misadventures of Olive Sukkin (full length) at the Arclight Theatre (NYC). Test for production (aiming for July 2011). Producer Kimberlyn Crawford. Feb 2010.

Solid Mechanics (ten minute play) as a part of the Three Monos Ensemble's MINUTES BEFORE festival. Directed by Dennis A. Allen II. Feb 2010.

H2-Zero (full length) at Molloy College for Earth Week. Directed by Laura Willis. April 2010. After graduating Molloy, I was approached by the folks putting together the program and asked to write a play for them. It was a great experience.

FILM

Besiegement! (feature film) Written & directed by Patrick Shand & Steven Wisnowski. Starring Patrick Shand, Steven Wisnowski, Kellyn Lindsay, Nigel Beckles, Jeff Zide Brown, Jodi Van Der Horn-Gibson, Claudia Avellan, & more. Coming to festivals 2011.

Many short films you can watch at http://www.youtube.com/stinkyburger


PROSE

Road Test (short story) Published in the Molloy Literary Magazine. Fall 2008.

Carnies in Love Published in the Molloy Literary Magazine. Spring 2009.

Uber Chick vs. the Financial Crisis (short story) Published in the Molloy Literary Magazine. Fall 2009. Featured author.

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Now, as far as what I hope to do...

PUBLISH short stories in literary magazines

PUBLISH my novel Lefty

RELEASE Besiegement!

Get more plays produced.

Break into the comic book industry.

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PS: Dave, if you're reading this, I'd like to remind you how much I hate you. Go sell a blender. I wish many long walks on the beach upon you!